Unitarian Universalist Meeting of South Berkshire

 

 

September 21, 2003

 

  

Forgiveness and Peace

 

 

Rev. Kathy Duhon

 

           

            I’m a bit off-schedule today – I just flew home from California last night, from bringing Will to Stanford for his freshman year.  The university did an excellent job of welcoming the students and the parents, making us feel that our sons and daughters would be well taken care of.  The orientation was both well-organized and surprisingly personal. 

They tried to help parents “let go”, and to give us some tips on surviving the sea changes happening in all of our lives.  Their advice, like any good advice, from “what I learned in kindergarten” all the way up, was universal.  ‘Don’t try to live your sons’ and daughters’ lives for them – they have to make their own decisions.’  Every adult has to choose for themselves, it’s true.  ‘The main goal here is not to prepare for a career, but to learn, to explore, to grow.’  That should always be a goal all our lives.  ‘Continue to support and show your love for your sons and daughters in tangible ways, no matter their response, or lack thereof.’  Of course. 

And finally, ‘it’s okay if they fail.’  ‘Give them permission to fail.’  This kept coming up.  The students need to take risks, they said, and they will fail at something, sometime, and it’s all right with Stanford – it ought to be all right with us parents.  We all fail sometimes.  When failure happens, acceptance and forgiveness are so important.  Now that I’m almost expecting failure, and not worried about it being a big deal, it will simply turn into a great learning experience – that’s how the university advises us.  I figure it works in our lives too – it’s guaranteed we’re going to fail sometime, but we can accept, forgive, learn from, and move on.

Later this week begins the High Holy Days of Judaism, a time when the close of the Jewish year is marked by forgiveness, prayer and renewal.  We are especially reminded to go to those we have wronged and ask forgiveness.  One of our ministers, Kaaren Solveig Anderson, tells a story for these days in her new meditation manual, Glad to Be Human.  She honors this season of forgiveness and the chance to begin life afresh and at peace for the new year.  She is a UU minister who did not come from a Jewish family, but, like many of us, is grateful for our chance to grow through the Jewish traditions that we celebrate all together.

Kaaren tells the story of when she was ten years old and visiting family friends.  The father was a Lutheran minister, Rev. Burkum.  He showed her a tiny Bible that fit easily into her hand, which she could look at, but had to give back.  She writes, “Well, I took it.  Okay, I stole it.  I put it in my pocket and stole it.  Later, I’d take it out to admire it, and honor would grab me and shake me.  As if it were on fire, I would thrust it back in my desk drawer.  I was a thief, of the Bible no less.”

After a while, she forgot about the little Bible, then found it again a few years later and was so ashamed that she threw it away.  She knew she should have returned it.  Recently she saw that minister at a family gathering and he told her how proud he was of her in her calling.  She wanted to confess, but she couldn’t admit that she was actually a “Bible thief”.

Kaaren was amazed at how much this small incident had cost her over the years, how powerless she’d felt, and wrong, and yet how surprisingly hard it was to make it right.  Just reflecting on it made her admit that she’s wrong a lot of the time.  The High Holy Days reminded Kaaren to look at the truth of herself, even the “deepest darkest yuck”, as she calls it, and to ask for forgiveness, human and divine.  She said she wished the first name on her list of folks to apologize to didn’t start with a “Rev.”

I can imagine Kaaren when she first reflected on her childhood theft, and wrote about it.  Perhaps it was a journal entry, or a story for a sermon, like this one, and then she must have sent it, along with a contrite note, to Rev. Burkum.  Or maybe she just waited for the book to come out, and sent him a copy.  Did she need his forgiveness?  No.  I’m sure she realized he probably knew and had forgiven her about 5 minutes after it had happened, so many years before.  The forgiveness she was seeking was different – “divine and human” she named it.  She didn’t elaborate, but I’ll tell you what that means to me.

To begin with, our sacred task is to forgive ourselves, and that is what Kaaren did, a process that takes time.  First we face what we’ve done.  Not making excuses, not rationalizing, not pushing down shameful incidents into the back of the drawer of our memories.   Important to her and to the process of forgiveness is facing the truth, naming it clearly.  To touch the immortal, ineffable Truth is to embrace the divine.  The fire of Truth illuminates our human nature letting us see clearly that we are wrong plenty of times.  That same divine spark is fueled by the contrition it calls forth, and we are truly sorry.  And that Holy Spirit of Truth and Love consumes the pain, purifies the heart, and opens a spaciousness for new beginnings.

Forgiving ourselves is one key to inner peace, and as we know, inner peace is needed to help create world peace.  It is only when we really forgive ourselves that we can begin to forgive others, just as forgiving others helps us to forgive ourselves.  For the forgiveness process exposes the truth that each of us is capable of good and of evil.  I remember the ah-ha experience of this truth many years ago when I visited prisoners who had all killed someone, and who were mostly both kind and ordinary guys.  I enjoyed being friends with several of them.  I knew that they were capable of good and evil, and I knew, just as surely, that I was too.  To know this deeply about ourselves and the world is to know the acceptance that brings peace within and among.  With inner peace comes inner strength and calmness, so that we will not need to fight, like the king’s rooster in the story we heard today. 

Does all this inner peace and forgiveness talk mean that we must dispense with holy rage?  By no means.  Rebecca Parker reminds us that we bless the world when we meet injustice and evil with “a holy disturbance, a benevolent rage, a revolutionary love.”  This blessing goes along with the easier-to-take ones of gratitude and beauty and grace.

 Of course, anger and forgiveness can go together.  Forgiveness is not all gentle and sweetness – its heart is the sacred fire of love.  As Reinhold Niebuhr says, “we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.”  The passion of love is often angry – it is because we love the world and feel compassion for its beings that our holy rage flares up.

But playing with fire is dangerous, especially alone.  Anger rarely remains righteous, but borrows from our baser motivations, our human vulnerabilities.  To spend our passion, our holy rage in resisting evil, without being sucked into the evil ourselves along the way, we almost assuredly need to do so in community.  We can seek out the Truth together, be ashamed and contrite as a community, and fire up hearts and minds for holy renewal all together.  This is part of the task of religious community, as Mark Morrison-Reed said in today’s reading.  The religious community widens our vision and renews our strength, because we act through our connectedness.

This community-centered work of anger, truth, and forgiveness is best embodied and known in the religiously inspired, but state-run Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa, from a few years back.  One of the members of that Commission, Dudu Chili, spoke to us last Fall at the Global Peace Initiative in Geneva.  She said it gave the victims a chance to know the truth, which was required of the perpetrator – “full disclosure” could bring a pardon.  The other thing perpetrators did was to express their remorse.  Families weren’t required to forgive, but they mostly did forgive. 

Dudu Chili was a victim, as well as a member of the Commission.  Her house had been destroyed and her niece killed.  Her sons had just escaped by going into hiding and she was safe only because she’d been arrested that day and was in jail the night her home was fire-bombed.  She said she hated the perpetrator, wanted to kill him.  Instead, with the help of God and the Truth and Reconciliation process, she was healing, and had reconciled with the perpetrator.  South Africa could lead the world in peace through forgiveness, if we’d but follow their example.

Just as we are called to ask for forgiveness during the coming High Holy Days, we are also called to extend forgiveness.  We don’t have to wait for folks to show up at our door, or to receive letters of contrition, for us to begin the process of forgiveness in our hearts.  Some of the folks we need most to forgive are people we’ve never met anyway.  So whether you have a hard time forgiving President Bush or Osama bin Ladin or Ariel Sharon or Yasser Arafat or Saddam Hussein or certain Senators, Administration leaders and Supreme Court Justices, or apathetic citizens, or corporations who put profit before all else, or whoever is on your personal list of those who make you so angry that your blood boils, it’s time to work on forgiveness.  Keep the anger, forgive anything you need to in yourself, and forgive them.  The resulting inner peace, joined together with “benevolent rage” shared in community, will make a fire of renewal so bright that we really will bring the world more peace.

Today is the International Day of Peace, the only day in which the entire world is called to celebrate.  Begun by the United Nations in 1981, this day is set aside each year for ceasefire, nonviolence, and creating peace.  Over a billion people will celebrate a day of peace today in some way, perhaps within their religious communities, as we are doing.  Many have vigiled, prayed, sung, and hoped today for peace in our world.  If we ever want to achieve anything, we must first dream of it and long for it.  Once a year, that is what the International Day of Peace encourages the whole world to do – begin to achieve peace by dreaming of its real possibility.  Eleanor Roosevelt said, “It is not enough to talk about peace.   One must believe in it.  And it isn’t enough to believe in it.  One has to work at it.”

One way to work at peace is to continue the process of forgiveness, beginning with the self.  May all the Earth come to know forgiveness and peace.  Amen.