Unitarian Universalist Meeting of South Berkshire

 

 

November 26, 2006

 

 

“Longing of the Heart”

 

 

Rev. Kathy Duhon

 

 

            A few years ago, a man named David Whyte was kayaking in the Pacific Northwest and was caught in a terrifying storm, far from land.  His little boat was lifted up high and brought down low, again and again, for many hours.  He said, “I finally broke through the spray and my own terror to an experience of pure vitality.”  He became at one with the paddles, the boat and the storm, and found his way to shore.  He wrote a poem about that amazing experience, called Out on the Ocean. 

                        the blades flash

                        lifting veils of spray as the bow rears

                        terrified then falls

                       

                        with five miles to go

                        of open ocean

                        the eyes pierce the horizon

 

                        the kayak pulls round

                        like a pony held by unseen reins

                        shying out of the ocean

 

                        and the spark behind fear

                        recognized as life

                        leaps into flame

                                    *

                        Always this energy smoulders inside

                        when it is unlit

                        the body fills with dense smoke

 

            David Whyte came to a place where fear could not touch him and only the longing of his heart to live remained, giving him the fiery vitality to do so.  He was surprised, though, at that last line of the poem when it came to him.  It says that when we refuse to open to our energetic nature, our being that longs to be vitally alive, it is as though we are filled with smoke.  He noticed that we become numb, asphyxiating on resentment, complaint, fear and more.  If we didn’t ever feel that acrid smoke, however, Whyte reminds us, we would be truly despairing, for the smouldering at least reminds us that our fuel is there within.

            The longing of the heart is a fire that brings storm-tossed poets home, and stirs up the rest of us to live in the fullness of love.

            You probably have noticed that many of the elements of this service are from one man, the Rev. Paul N. Carnes.  He had been the President of the Unitarian Universalist Association, and he died several years ago.  I never knew him, but we had a connection.  My intern minister, Jerry Goddard, gave me a precious book by Paul Carnes called Longing of the Heart, from which many pieces have come today for this service.

            The “longing of the heart” is a wonderful phrase and captures so well what is at the center of our religion.  We don’t tend to be the calm, quiet ones, nor the orderly church-goers, nor the pious pray-ers.  We don’t have as many answers as we have questions – we are seekers, we long for peace and justice, faith, hope and love, and transforming joy.  We may believe in God, but our center is not in God, nor in our congregations, nor in ourselves.  Our center is perhaps not a place, not an object, not a belief, not a practice; instead, our center is a way of being.  We are the people who open our hearts to longing, and follow the path of love.  Simple stuff – I don’t believe it’s any more complicated than that.

            The longing of the heart is not longing by itself, not desire.  This heart longing is more like the burning vitality that today’s poet spoke about – focused, full of energy, and at one with the world.  Similarly, when George Bernard Shaw wrote of his joy in life in being used up for a purpose, he said, “Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me.  It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

            The longing of the heart is expressed at this time of year quite well.  Some of it isn’t longing of the heart, exactly, as some of us are just longing for the gifts, and for the special food and drink, and for the fun, fun, fun.  Ah, but we also long for the hope and beauty of the season, the spirituality of candles and singing, and the joy of being together in the heart with loved ones. 

            All the holy days of this coming season have longing built into them – the Hebrew people longed for their temple to be rebuilt after its destruction, and they longed for the temple flame to be kindled, and so came the miracle of the 8 days of Hanukkah burning bright.  The longing of our ancestors in Earth-centered traditions was for the sun to return, and begins in this darkness, and underlies many of our Advent traditions.  Advent is itself a time of longing, both to return to the simple birth of the Babe whose life brought the world Christianity, and for the coming of the beloved community of peace and joy.

            The opposite of the longing of the heart is not a neutral state, not a calmness, but  fearfulness and despair.  Fearfulness keeps the heart smouldering, not opening itself enough to the vitality of living fully with love.  William Sloane Coffin said, “Nothing scares me like scared people; for while love seeks the truth, fear seeks safety, the safety so frequently found in dogmatic certainty, in pitiless intolerance.”  Fearfulness keeps a distance, does not allow the heart to express its longing.

            The other opposite of the longing of the heart is despair.  Despair douses even the smoke of our vital selves and does not let the candles of hope burn.  A longing heart may be initially sad, frustrated, even angry, but these feelings are in the cause of love.  Despair, on the other hand, is the damping down of such feelings, threatening the vital connection to life itself.  When despair is destroying our lives, we need to listen to our hearts and return to longing, to love, to joy.

            The longing of the heart is fervent, but not frenetic.  Prayer is filled with longing that is calm, that is gentle, that is clear.  The prayer Jesus taught, reworded by a taxicab driver, as told to one of our ministers, clearly states the heart’s longing with these words, “Holy spirit who art with and among us, Be with us as we would be with you, Give us this day our daily bread, Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.  Thank you for the blessing of life, I pray I may be worthy of it.”

            Our grace note about waiting is a meditation of the heart by UU minister Peter Fleck.  The longing of the heart, for him, involves a stillness that he recognizes in the psalms.  Be still.  Wait with longing, but not desire, not noisiness, not preoccupation.  This is a good reminder for these days, when waiting in line and waiting for the holidays can consume us.  When we wait in hope and patience, with the longing of the heart, we will be ready.

            Rabindranath Tagore wrote “Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them.  Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain but for the heart to conquer it.  Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved but hope for the patience to win my freedom.”

            We do well to remember that the longing of our hearts is a central and essential truth about our beings.  The longing of the heart demands that we love life so much that we love ourselves and others, and the greater than us, the All in All.  Each of us faces our own storms, each of us chooses our own way, blazing through the vital energy which comes from deep within, and far beyond, and is shared among us all.  May all be abundantly blessed with the longing of the heart.  Amen.