Unitarian Universalist Meeting of
“Preparations for Joy”
Rev. Kathy Duhon
After Thanksgiving each year, I begin to change our house into a holiday home, with candles and decorations. A big aspect of the job is cleaning, not my favorite activity – probably not yours either. I am not the greatest housekeeper so this is one of those good opportunities to dust (actually, a misnomer in my case – the sponge is full of much more than a little dust). Though I don’t look forward to the cleaning and changing of the house, I am happy when the transformation has occurred.
This opportunity to clean house, to prepare for the holidays, is a good metaphor for what we can choose to do with our lives at this time of year. This is the season of Advent, the traditional time of preparation for the coming of the Holy. And so this is a good opportunity to clean up our lives and make preparations for Joy.
As with housecleaning, this can be a three step process. First, clear out, then, scrub down, and finally, polish up. Out, down, up – sounds like an exercise – a spiritual exercise, to be sure.
First, clear out. After last week’s message from Erica, we are hopefully working on letting go, and non-attachment, in many ways. What to let go of, clear out of our lives? In a basic material way, we need to get rid of what we don’t need and what others do need. As I brought decorations down from the attic, I brought up stuff I don’t need, to save for next year’s church tag sale and book sale – I try to clear out as I go.
When the children were little and we lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment, the December holidays represented a challenge to our living space, and we knew that with the upcoming arrival of presents, we had to find room by giving away stuff. I asked first little Anna, and in later years her younger brothers, to find clothes and toys that they no longer used and together we would fill up bags to give to children who were in need, through Goodwill, Salvation Army, Community Services, and Children’s Health Program. It became a holiday project that our family continued for many years.
What can we clear out – clothing? toys? – (even the grown ups have them) – money? December is a traditional time to give to charitable organizations, which is a real boost to their operations both in terms of needed resources and in the feeling of hope that is engendered. Letting go of money on a regular basis, such as the annual December giving, is a good practice in cleaning out, and has the added bonus of making it harder for you to accumulate again.
Let me tell you a
true December story about giving that happened many years ago in my
family. It was in the late 60’s or early
70’s, when my older brother ran into some trouble one December in getting home
from college – a blizzard I believe had thrown things off and he needed
money. It was in the days before ATMs
with their instant cash, and it was nighttime, when you couldn’t send a bank
transfer, and it was in the days when credit cards were rare, and neither my
brother nor my parents had a major charge card.
So my Mom and I went to the
She was quite upset, didn’t know what to do, and just then a gentleman came over and took care of her problem. He helped her fill out the form and put forward the cash and took her to the window to arrange the transfer. She thought he was a helpful employee, getting things to work. My Mom was so beside herself that she hadn’t even thanked him or figured out how to do the check. I noticed that the man had disappeared immediately. I said, “Mom, that man just gave you over $200!”
He was an angel,
whose message still speaks to me about letting go and clearing out, even your
wallet, when someone is in need. I don’t
think he was lurking there that December looking for a desperate mother, although
he could have been. I think he had done
a lifetime of preparation – letting go and giving, in small ways here and
there, and so that opportunity to help my family was not wasted on our
Of course, clearing out can have a non-material meaning. What can we get rid of in our lives that is holding us down? What can we let go of that will free our spirits?
Besides clearing out, we scrub down, clean deeply our hearts, with prayer, reflection, meditation. These dark December days give us the chance to look within, and so we read, listen to music, seek a pure heart, open to greater spiritual awareness. These magical December days make it a bit easier to scrub all the way down to the inner child.
Scrubbing down may take some elbow grease. I often consider the saying of Eleanor Roosevelt: “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” These are good days to try something challenging. Maybe a service project that’s less than fully comfortable, like visiting a nursing home or helping out at a nursery school, or mending a relationship. Or going Christmas caroling at the hospital with the congregation – it’s actually very fun, as most things are that can seem challenging – once we put ourselves into it, the concerns melt into joy.
In my family of origin at this time of year, we would visit my father’s elderly relatives, his Tantes, the Cajun French aunts, like Tante Odil, Tante Melida, Tante Louisa and Tante Edit, and the one uncle still around, Unc’ Clojas. My parents brought a small present to each one, such as kitchen towels with the calendar on it for the tantes and a box of chocolate covered cherries for the uncle. Those visits were a real challenge – packing up a bunch of little kids to drive around for a few hours to visit with elderly folks who only or mostly spoke French, which only my father could understand. It wasn’t easy for us, and now as a mother, I know it must have been hard for my parents too. And yet, it is one of my favorite memories from childhood.
Here’s a universal idea for scrubbing down this holiday season by doing something challenging and worthy – ask your relatives and friends if they vote, and witness to them about the importance of their vote for our democracy. Can you find 20 people to encourage to vote, as the President of the UUA and Julian Bond have suggested to us, and ask them to find 20 more? I don’t claim this will be one of your favorite memories of this holiday, but the scrubbing we do together to change our country for the good will bring greater joy to our society in the future. On the first Sunday in January we’ll have an opportunity to witness to what it was like to scrub down for democracy with our loved ones, so save up your stories of asking about voting.
Don’t scour too hard. An Advent reading recommended for this week that we heard earlier, from the first letter of Paul to the Thessalonians, says “Do not quench the Spirit . . . Hold fast to what is good.” Which brings us to the third step in the process, polish up your life. It’s the holidays and you deserve joy. Get gussied up till you shimmer. Go for the inspiration – skip the usual, even church if it gets in the way with, … oh, … the Handel’s Messiah last Sunday. Nothing tedious is allowed – search for the beauty and the sweetness. Bake, or don’t bake, dance ‘til late, or sing carols in the shower – whatever brings you joy. Glow. Polish up until your glorious being is clear to the world.
We make preparations for joy by clearing out, scrubbing down and polishing up, but the final way to prepare for joy is to choose joy, to accept the blessing of these days.
The same advice that our Hebrew ancestors heard at the dawn of Judaism still rings true today – when life and death, blessing and curse is set before us, choose life. Choose the blessing. Choose joy.